I understand that my reputation precedes me. My brother unfortunately sees to that. However, I would request “asks” to pass the time. I have to remain on this site until Sherlock decides to stop telling everybody that I have an unhealthy fascination with cake.

Which I do not.

A “cuppa”, Detective Inspector? I… Where did you have in mind? -M

Ah, John. Yes, I did hear about that. Nothing I can do, I’m afraid. The paperwork to make the witnesses disappear is… Tedious at best. Good luck with your court case. -M

No, it is a perfectly unique - and certainly a very interesting question. I am fond of most teas; Assam is certainly my most preferred, as it is a little stronger than most. However, Darjeeling is an excellent choice as well. -M

Once again, Anthea, you prove yourself invaluable. He has been rather irritating recently. Perhaps a drugs bust would correct his actions. -M

I am very well this fine evening, and thank you for the compliment. -M

Must you be such a child, brother? I’m assuming you still want me to turn the police’s attention away when they hear gunshots from your flat? -M

Ah, James. I wondered when you would be about. Your obsessions are overtaking you, I fear. London is decidedly not burning, and will not burn in the foreseeable future. -M

I do appear to be getting no messages except for inane threats from a certain Mr Moran. I expect better from you. Surely someone must have some sort of question for me? -M